Individuals who succeed in getting over the hump of such habit change usually do so by making themselves look ahead to a future and more desirable state which will be the actual and lasting reward of their present, unrewarded efforts.
Everyone knows how difficult it is to do this – and how easy it is to succumb to excuses and rationalizations which permit one to abandon his efforts while managing to save face by telling himself that "I’ll get back to it later" or "Now is not a good time to be doing this – but in the future, when circumstances are more favorable, I will certainly resume my efforts." Addictive thinking is notorious for its smooth and lawyerly ability to "plead its case" and to make the afflicted individual actually believe that he is making a rational decision in his own best interest, when in fact he is simply being yanked around by the addiction like a puppet on a string.
But a few years back, in a rush of book and article deadlines, the above was my life, and I reached the point where I couldn't stop eating.
I'd like to think that no one knew, but I'm well aware of my friend with the passion for wine and the one whose weed habit long ago passed social. The owner of the 24-hour corner bodega stopped making eye contact. I'd picked the meeting at random from the online schedule and arrived to find a beautiful, thin, impeccably dressed brunette named Carrie sitting next to a refrigerator.
We all have our own personal moral and religious views on the subject, but for the purpose of this article we’re going to be mainly focusing on what scientific research, studies, and surveys have discovered about the link between pornography and marriage.
So, why is there so much confusion about pornography?
Addictive behaviors such as smoking, drinking, drug use, overeating and other "quick fix" maneuvers aimed at rapidly and dramatically changing the individual’s emotional and hedonic state are natural and common targets for resolutions of reform, whether at New Year’s or any other time, to "do better," to "turn over a new leaf" or to "quit once and for all." And even more than in the case of the typical New Year’s resolution, the solemn promise of the substance(alcohol, nicotine, other drugs, food) or process(gambling, spending, sex) addict is well known by just about everyone familiar with such matters to be, more often than not, ‘writ in water.’ In addiction perhaps more than any place else, "The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft aglay." Such natural and only too well justified skepticism about promises of reform on the part of those familiar with the addict does not necessarily include the addict himself, who may fervently and sincerely exclaim "I know I’ve said this before – and I know that you don’t believe me and that you are entitled not to believe me. Or if there is change, it is change for the worse: the addict’s outrageous addictive behavior sometimes seems almost to feed upon and draw nourishment from his passionate promises that "it will never happen again." This phenomenon leaves those who have to deal with the addict in a confused, discouraged, angry and usually depressed state.
I wouldn’t believe me either if I were in your shoes. It is difficult to change any behavior to which one has grown accustomed unless there are powerful and consistent immediate rewards for doing so or equally persuasive penalties for not doing so. that of commencing and maintaining a physical exercise program, the rewards of such a behavior change are by no means immediate, while the costs of them –the discomfort occasioned by exercise to which one is unaccustomed- are up front and unavoidable.
That’s why today we’re tackling the (sometimes uncomfortable and awkward) topic of…
Recovery is about restoring natural, spontaneous and healthy regulation of mood and feelings.
Because addicts may be seriously impaired in their pre-addictive self-care and self-management they often require prolonged help learning to feel well without resorting to the "tricks" of addiction. " But in spite of this and other equally inspired proclamations of intent to reform, in the vast majority of cases of definite and well-established addiction, nothing whatever changes – at least not for long.
I lived in painful stories and in visions of what could have been if I hadn’t been wronged.
I blamed someone else for the life I didn’t have, and felt vindicated in the soul-sucking resentment I carried around from day to day.